--limited time but still skulking--

art violation death abuse hope fragments memories music games nonsense doubts rape loathing misogyny hope enlightenment regret destiny bdsm shame amnesia hope nature ruins girls hope doubt hope doubt nothing unusual

for me

 

my ex was nice at first and because of being dumb i thought i was in love with him ,..  it took awhile for things like this to happen. „ but he started to only see me as a dog and was treated as one in various ways.. . „ he used bdsm as an excuse to do whatever he wanted. ., i didnt know what that was before .. but now i understand is a way some people live their lives.. and its healthy and consentual. .„ hopes - that one day i can have a bf i can trust to show me real bdsm,. , what i experienced was a mockery of this ,. , i would like to see what having the choice to do things is like. .  , doubts - . ..well im afraid that i will trust the wrong person and end up like i did before tricked and abused. , , or that i will fall into my old patterns of not really caring what happens to me and just end up in an abusive relationship by choice. .,

my ex was nice at first and because of being dumb i thought i was in love with him ,..  it took awhile for things like this to happen. „ but he started to only see me as a dog and was treated as one in various ways.. . „ he used bdsm as an excuse to do whatever he wanted. ., i didnt know what that was before .. but now i understand is a way some people live their lives.. and its healthy and consentual. .„

hopes - that one day i can have a bf i can trust to show me real bdsm,. , what i experienced was a mockery of this ,. , i would like to see what having the choice to do things is like. .  ,

doubts - . ..well im afraid that i will trust the wrong person and end up like i did before tricked and abused. , , or that i will fall into my old patterns of not really caring what happens to me and just end up in an abusive relationship by choice. .,

(via cruelman2)

3 months ago Via whiteslaver
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    Punishment cage for Su.B
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    Bedtime ……………
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